THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE CREATIVE

As Tall as Giants in the Presence of Death

2011-01-31T13:48:00.002-08:00

While attending college in NYC I was placed within a school assigned fraternity (or "house"). The fraternity is called The House of Dietrich Bonhoeffer; the name comes from the German theologian and Christian martyr Dietrich Bonhoeffer. Bonhoeffer was put to death while a prisoner within a German concentration camp. He died in 1945 only a few days before the camp was liberated by allied forces.

A couple of days ago I started reading a biography about this man. The title of the book is called Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy written by Eric Metaxas. I have only just finished the first chapter, but already I am fascinated by the young Bonhoeffer and his family. A fiercely intellectual and well educated family whose strength was in their unity, love, respect, encouragement, and determination of the parents to do right by their children. Now in saying this, there was also a respect by the parents of the Bonhoeffer family for Christian ideals past down through Dietrich's mother's lineage.

There is much more that I could talk about regarding the book, but I found myself thinking while reading the book, What is it the Lord has for me? Now that is a general and broad question that I have found myself asking at many stages in my almost 27 years on this earth. Like Bonhoeffer, I was brought up by parents who had a deep respect for Christian ideals, but both my parents also were believers of Jesus Christ and what is said about Him in the New and Old Testament. I have never questioned my belief in God or Jesus. This is a funny statement for me to write because I did not cement my faith in Jesus or in eternity until I was 9 years old, but I have no memory of ever questioning the truth of the Bible even when I was younger than that....

....Actually, that's not entirely true. One time I remember my Sunday School Teacher asking me if I believed Noah could fit two of every animal on the Ark and I said no. But then I was asked, If God created all of the animals, then why could He not get them inside of an ark? I was little and could not answer the question, and realized I only said no because I wanted to be disagreeable.....

This does not mean that I do not get frustrated, angry, or sad with life situations. I think that if we are determined to carry through with the plans God unveils for us at different times in our lives, that even if those plans lead to our eventual martyrdom, we would stand firm in the face of death as Bonhoeffer was known to have before he was hung. This means that even in times of uncertainty regarding what God's plan is for us individually we still continue to seek His face, so that as we continue to walk forward, perhaps with uncertainty, He can still speak to our hearts if we find ourselves heading in the wrong direction.

I need such determination.

If Only I Could Dunk

2011-01-27T19:00:00.000-08:00

This is what happened to my ankle this afternoon while I was playing basketball. I went up for a rebound, I came down on someone's foot, and I twisted my ankle. The only not negative thing out of the whole experience is the sprain is minor. In a couple of days, I hope, I should be able to play ball again.

And so it begins....AGAIN.

2011-01-25T13:36:00.000-08:00

To write something or to write anything normally requires a motive. I do not believe that anyone begins to put pen to paper or fingers to keys by accident. If someone were to write something by accident and what they wrote made sense, then I would probably assume that person was possessed while their fingers painted the words. I do not believe anyone writes anything without some forethought, and the forethought is not placed inside their own head by accident either. An individual might accidentally reveal what they wrote, but the action of writing had a purpose. So what is my motive in starting my blog again?

I am incredibly selfconscious about my writing. Mostly because I feel what I write is inadequate. I still am not quite certain of the reasons for this. My motive in beginning a blog is to step out from behind myself; to give illustrations to my days activities or the ramblings of my mind, and to exercise my atrophied fingers.

Starting out the only rule I will be setting for myself is that I have to produce at least 2 new blog posts every week. Eventually I will be adding or changing rules, and trying to challenge myself in other ways as I write. A goal of mine is to eventually begin to publicize what I write to more people I know, and not just the few of you who currently follow this blog.

In the words of Michael Buffer, "Let's get ready to rumble!"

For Encouragement

2010-09-03T11:36:00.000-07:00

PSALM 31:1-5 A Psalm of David
In You, O LORD, I put my trust;
Let me never be ashamed;
Deliver me in Your
righteousness.
Bow down Your ear to me,
Deliver me speedily;
Be my rock of refuge,
A fortress of defense to
save me.
For You are my rock and
my fortress;
Therefore, for Your names
sake,
Lead me and guide me.
Pull me out of the net
which they have secretly
laid for me,
For You are my strength.
Into Your hand I commit
my spirit;
You have redeemed me, O
LORD God of truth.

To A Friend:

I hope this letter finds you in a joyful time. If you are reading this during a time when you are distraught or in need of rescuing, then I hope this letter encourages you to cry out to Jesus, just as King David did in times of trouble. Whenever David did not trust in God, and was facing the consequences of his decision, he was affected in all that he was—body, heart, soul, and spirit (see Psalm 6). But David had an understanding of God that the LORD desired men who would talk with Him, and that in their communication with God these men would see the LORD’S heart and purpose; that these men would understand there is no better person to put your trust in than God (see Psalm 16, 18, and 20).

David himself is an example of such a man. In the Book of Psalms David cries out to the LORD during times of failure, success, peace, deliverance, shame, sorrow, uncertainty, contemplation, joy, and at the utter end of his rope (see Psalm 51). David was not a man who hid from God when his sin was made known to him. David had the boldness and heart—that many men today do not—to admit failure and run to God so that he would be washed clean and no longer walk in the wrong direction.

My friend, when you are broken or disheartened to whom do you run? In what direction do you run? Do you run away from or toward Jesus? Do you accept the consequence of a failure or sin? And do you ask the Lord to rescue you from the pit of despair (see Psalm 28:1-2)? Or do you keep digging, thinking you are destined to reach China?

The Lord’s love for us is no small thing. His love for us is greater than our own imaginations comprehension, and just as real as the consequence of sin—death. But Jesus’ love for us reaches beyond death. His love is a love that brings life. His love is an eternal love that will never be quenched or dried up, but only grows deeper, only increases in size, and only shines brighter with every passing moment.

David knew the Lord’s love. In Psalm 36:7-9 David writes: “How precious is Your lovingkindness, O God! Therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of Your wings. They are abundantly satisfied with the fullness of Your house, and You give them drink from the river of Your pleasures. For with You is the fountain of life; in Your light we see light.”

My friend, I write this to you as an encouragement to walk in the light. To trust in the Lord even in times of fear, doubt, uncertainty, anger, disappointment, rejection, sadness, etc. Turn back to God if you have sinned against Him, as David did after his failures. David was far from a perfect man, but he sought the Lord’s heart. Ask the Lord to search you and try you. Ask Jesus to reveal any secret sins you may have hidden from Him. I love that DC TALK song where they sing, “I want to be in the light as You are in the light. I want to shine like the stars in the heavens. O Lord be my light and be my salvation. For all I want is to be in the light.” This will not be easy, but are you willing?

Your Brother in the Body,
A Simple Layman

Daniel 5:14

2010-01-02T06:11:00.000-08:00

"I have heard of you, that the Spirit of God is in you, and that light and understanding and excellent wisdom are found in you."

When I have found myself in the slough of despair--sinking toward a black empty bottom where the sound of my own voice is muffled to my own ears--unable to cry out for help in a way where I feel heard, it is in these lonely and desperate moments when I have found the Bible a life-source of mysterious yet purposeful power. In the grips of the Word of Life I have found myself risen from dark depths and placed on solid ground. Even shame is cast off in the light of His truth; the broken and ugly scars that keep a soul paralyzed are made whole and pure in the fire of His love. By His truth and His love are we able to see ourselves in His light. A light more inspiring and magnificent than we ever imagined.

I Remember Leaving Sinai

2009-12-30T06:24:00.000-08:00

I remember racing down Mount Sinai as the sun began its initial ascent, and running past the old nuns from the monastery that lingered 3/4 the way up the biblical desert mountain. I remember the early mourning sun sparkling over the mountainous desert landscape like a clarion call back to ancient antiquity when times were mystical, pure, and strangely simple. I remember the oranges, the reds, the browns, and mixes of sand colors that shimmered like a swaying desert ocean. I remember the camel dung on the pathway leading me on the correct path, and keeping me from losing my place. I remember the anxiety of feeling lost, and the driving fear of being left behind in a foreign country. I remember listening to The Silversun Pickups on my i-pod shuffle to keep me calm as I ran and sweat, I remember turning the i-pod off part-way down the mountain just to listen to the land and the air, and I remember how I felt. I remember speaking to a young boy wearing a turban, a motif of many of the Arabic men and boys in the Sinai Peninsula, to seek help to find the bottom.

I remember finding the bottom. When I made the final descent of the mountain and I was at the security gate, I asked the guard for the time. The guard spoke broken English, and even after my question he first asked me, "You want taxi?"

No. I did not want taxi. I wanted the time.

The guard, who had an automatic machine gun sitting near by him and a pistol secured to a holster by his hip, said, "7:10am. You want taxi?"

No. Thank you. Are you sure it is 7:10am?

"Yes. 7:10am."

Have you seen a bus? Or two big buses? With lots of people? People of many different nationalities?

The guard looks at me perplexed. "No. It is still early. You want taxi?"

No. Thank you.

I walked past him wondering where my brothers and the rest of the 50+ people in the group could be.

I remember the bazaars off to the left of the parking lot where the buses should have been. Dark green and dirt covered tents with jewelry, clothes with Sinai symbols, and men inside wearing light grey robes with turbans and long, thick beards. I remember the man in the bazaar with the long, thick, grey beard coming to speak with me as I walked by myself out into the parking lot.

"Do you need a taxi?" he asked in a clearer English accent than the Sinai security guard.

No. Well maybe. Have you seen a bus or two buses arrive and pick up a bunch of people?

The man looked at me curiously. "No. The buses do not arrive this early. Do you know your hotel?"

I, of course, was put off by his reply that the buses do not arrive this early. The buses have not arrived?

"No. Not until almost 8 o'clock. Do you want to buy something and wait for your friends? Or do you want a taxi? Where is your hotel?

My hotel is the only one with a pool. I don't think I'm going to buy anything. I think I will walk along this road--it was the only road in the desert for miles--and hope that I will run into the buses. Maybe they are not parked in the parking lot. If you see me walking back, then you can send a taxi.

"Okay my friend. But there is no buses. There is no. You sure you don't want to buy?"

Yes. Thank you my friend.

So I kept walking, and as I kept walking I remembered what we were told at the beginning of the tour 14 days before: You all have maps of where we are going, and names of the hotels. If you get left behind somewhere, then you grab a taxi and you search for the next location we will be staying. You are one person in a group of 96 of us. We will not wait for you if you get lost and do not follow directions. You all have extra money. If you do not find us at the next location, then you go to the next one. Keep going until you find us. If you must fly home, then fly home.

I took this threat seriously. I don't think most people on the tour did.

I remember walking a couple miles on the road and not finding the buses. I remember never being scared, but thrilled by this prospect of new adventure. Which was strange because running down the mountain I was afraid, but at the foot of Sinai I felt strangely calm. I remember walking back towards the bazars and a taxi meeting me before I arrived at the parking lot. I remember the taxi driver spoke hardly any English, but by way of hand signals and two or three English words I was able to figure out that the man at the bazaar explained to him where I needed to be taken. I remember the drive in the taxi to the hotel, and I loved every minute of it. I remember arriving at the hotel and seeing all of the buses still parked, but nobody was around. I remember the taxi only cost $4 U.S. including tip, and thinking that if I was in New York City the taxi would have cost maybe $16-20. I remember the taxi driver spoke perfect English when talking money, and that he said goodbye to me in Arabic. I remember my conversation with Michael, the Scottish Tour Guide and owner of Maranatha Tours, when I found him by himself lounging on some steps in front of the dining room building, petting a couple of cats.

Hi Michael.

"Hello Indiana." (He called me Indiana because I brought an Indiana Jones hat that I wore throughout the beginning of the tour.)

So where is everyone?

Michael pauses, stops stroking the cats, looks up at me with squinted eyes shielding the sun rays. "You missed them. When you went to the bathroom you didn't get back in time."

His answer baffled me. Bathroom? I didn't get back in time? Wait. What are you talking about. I took a taxi. I did not go to the bathroom. I mean I did, but no one's here. If I didn't get back in time then they would all be here at the hotel.

Now Michael looked confused. "Taxi? Everyone left without you. They are still on Mount Sinai."

I climbed Mount Sinai.

"You climbed Mount Sinai!? Where did you come from?"

I was on the bus last night. I thought everyone had left me on the mountain because I was told over the walkie-talkie this morning that the buses were coming early and we had to be down the mountain by 7am. I waited just until after the sunrise to walk down the mountain, but I had to use the bathroom. I went to the bathroom on the mountain, near the top, and that took a long time for me to find because there is nothing but some random bazaars near the top. I had to pay some Egyptian man money to use the bathroom in the back of his bazaar. When I came out I didn't see anyone and I thought everyone had left me. So I ran down Mount Sinai and caught a taxi back here.

"You ran down Mount Sinai!"

Yes.

"In the entire history of my life as a tour guide you are first person that I have heard to have ran down Mount Sinai!"

Well I hurt my ankle at one point because I slid on some rocks and thought I twisted it, but yes, I ran down Mount Sinai.

"So then you weren't in the bathroom when we left last night? Hmm. Must have been your brother."

Well both my brothers were on Sinai for the hike up. So he made it on the bus.

"I thought you had overslept. I wasn't going to feel sorry for you. You took a taxi?"

Well you told us you would leave us if we got lost or left behind.

"And you took me seriously? Well I'm glad someone did. But we wouldn't leave you behind."

I guess this means everyone will be worried about me when the buses arrive and I'm not on them. Will you tell everyone what happened.

"Of course."

I remember Michael didn't tell them what happened and people were worried I got lost on the mountain.